I am so much in love it is all I can do sometimes to keep from crying. Tonight, I all but made myself sick looking at wedding bands and crying. I am engaged, and I am so happy, but I am also a nervous wreck wondering how I am ever going to pull this one off.
For years, my purpose and my dream has been to provide Leni with the choices and education that have been denied her mother and father. And now like the love-struck, romantic dreamer I am, I have convinced myself I can be a very loving husband again.
So many old memories have resurfaced of how blindsided and inadequate I felt when the former love-of-my-life informed me we were no longer married. It has taken me six very painful years to finally get to the beautiful place I am at today.
Perhaps because I was spoon fed the same fairytale stories of romance that have distorted too many lives, I am afraid I might just not have what it takes to survive another divorce. But I know I have the courage and the will to live the rest of my life with the man I love.
Pay no attention to the man who artfully manipulates shadows & light to create the illusion of perpetual youth & optimism. Behind my wide eyes is an uncertain and sometimes frightened man who just wants to fill the second half of his life with simple pleasures and shared joy.